I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
