When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
