So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
