So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
