i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
