my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Enjoy the penises
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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