Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
And then he peed in my hair
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