I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
try to milk me bitch
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
