Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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