She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
