It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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