I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i think my mom watched the whole time
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
