Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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