Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
