Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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