All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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