Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My vagina just clenched in fear
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
