I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
