Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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