Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hippo gnu deer
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
