mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize