Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
is wine microwaveable?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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