One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
