I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
