you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize