i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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