a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The struggles of a small town man whore
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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