similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
