K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize