My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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