Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
