he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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