If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
