i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
