where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
