my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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