i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
wow bdsm is so cute
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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