Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
How's work?
Spinning.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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