i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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