Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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