...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
