I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
