so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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