By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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