Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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