Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize