i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
