Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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