They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did I show you my penis last night?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
