Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I deserve this hangover.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
