And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
