And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
