can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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