I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
