i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
