WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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