I wish I only lived at night.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize