We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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