you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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