Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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