There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
