Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
