I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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