and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
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