Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
